Jess’s story
I had a healthy pregnancy until I reached 36 weeks, when a scan found the baby was on the bigger side. I went into labour nine days before my due date, and was repeatedly turned away from the hospital until eventually being admitted. I was given medication for raised blood pressure, as well as gas and air, which did nothing for the pain.
I spent several hours with a cold, disengaged midwife who broke my waters without my consent, causing me to bleed. We later found that the machine monitoring my baby’s heartrate showed that he was recovering more slowly every time his heartrate dropped – but nobody did anything.
Eventually consultants examined me and gave me a scan, and said they were not happy with the baby’s position. I was 10cm dilated and they talked me into having an epidural. I was made to lie down and told to push. Just “push, push, push”, without any guidance or reassurance. After several attempts, they hit the emergency button and I was taken to theatre. It was like a horror film. So many people were in the theatre, prodding me, moving me, jabbing me. Three attempts at using the suction cup failed. Then I was given an episiotomy and doctors attempted a forceps delivery to get the baby out. First try – nothing. Second try – nothing. Third try, the head was born. But the body was stuck. It was only now, after 17 hours, that staff recognised shoulder dystocia. Staff had to urgently perform manoeuvres to get the body out. It’s seven minutes before it’s game over.
Two consultants were pulling at the forceps which were gripped to the baby’s head, one midwife had her hand up me trying to dislodge the shoulder and another midwife was jumping on my stomach, literally jumping. I lay there not having a clue what was happening. Just looking at all these people completely in a panic trying to get the baby out. Six long horrendous minutes later, he was born at 2:45am. No sound, no cry, pale and floppy. They held him up so we could see him but then in a panic whisked him across the room. He was completely unresponsive. He had used his four minutes of reserve oxygen so went two minutes without.
Meconium was suctioned from his airway because he had pooed inside me also – increasing the risk of infection. Inflation and ventilation breaths were administered, then CPR. This went on for minutes. No response.
The baby then gasped for breath and a breathing tube was inserted 22 minutes after he was born. I had no idea this was happening. There were so many people in the room I couldn’t even see my baby. At 30 minutes he was taken to special care. I was then stitched up and in theatre for 1.5 hours after as I had lost so much blood.
While in special care, Jax had a seizure, he recovered well but went on to have another. We were told he had to be transferred to another hospital for cooling treatment. Staff arrived from King’s and he had another seizure whilst they were getting him ready. The cooling treatment was started and they were ready to leave. My husband had to ask if I could see him. I got 30 seconds, but could barely see him as he was wrapped up and covered in wires.
My husband thought he was going to lose both of us. He stayed with Jax the whole time and I was taken to the recovery ward. I was shaking & my body in shock but told I couldn’t have a drink or food.
After 12 hours on the recovery ward (with other mums and their babies) I was taken into my own room. My heart was ripped out. I’d had this baby, it’s now in a hospital an hour away and I’m left in this room alone.
I couldn’t move, and all I could do was lay there thinking of the worst. What is going to happen to my baby?
My care was terrible and I felt forgotten about. I would ring my buzzer and no one would come. Medication was missed. When Jax was taken to King’s the nurse asked my husband if I was breastfeeding. After day 5, I asked to be discharged as they weren’t doing anything for me.
After three days in intensive care having cooling treatment and being fed via a sugar drip, he opened his eyes, and he was so poorly he couldn’t even be cuddled. He also had lacerations on his face, head and neck from the forceps, as well as blisters in his head. King’s had asked our permission to take photos of his cuts and marks on his head.
We were allowed to hold him after 6 days. This whole time spent staring through an incubator, holding his hand. Feeling hopeless, helpless and frightened.
He also had two dents on his face which he still has to this day, leaving scars. Even now people ask what he has done to his face and this brings it all flooding back.
During this time Jax had 11 different medications, MRI scans and a lumbar puncture. All that time I was expressing breast milk for him and my husband was taking it in, after a nurse at Kings asked him if I was breast feeding as they didn’t have milk there. That was not true.
How could I do that when we were separated and in different hospitals!? I felt huge pressure to express even though I needed to focus on getting better and getting discharged so I could get to my baby. After 10 days, we were allowed to take him home.
Jax has Erb’s Palsy - nerve damage down his right shoulder and arm due to being stuck. The aftercare he received was terrible. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and given Sertraline. I was not offered mental health treatment from the NHS.
This will always stay with us and will be something we will never get over. Jax is a fighter. He is now four years old and thriving, and we are forever grateful for our little boy.
